undefined
by Meer-Katnip
Summary: This statement is a lie.


**So. This is my first fully Portal fanfiction, and, since I haven't read any other Portal fics, I don't know what sort of things you guys write. For all I know, this could be just one more in a ridiculously long line of edgy fanfictions about mathematics and subsets. I'd just like to state here, in case any of you are top-of-the-line quantum mathematicians that _I really don't know a thing about half the things I've talked about here._ Honestly. I spent about an hour researching sequential logic, and a long time trying to understand it, but at the end of the day, if I've got any important details wrong, it's my fault. However, if you are someone who understands that sort of thing, maybe you can tell me where I went wrong. I'd actually appreciate it.**

 **Also; Ace and Leela, if you're reading this, this isn't my part of _The Room._ I figured it was a bit too AU to work. :-D**

 **As always, if you enjoyed this, drop a review.**

 **And now, on with the story!**

 **(also, to be clear, '=/=' is a 'not-equals' sign, since fanfiction dot net doesn't seem to support the actual symbol.)**

* * *

 _undefined_

* * *

Tick-tock, goes the clock.

Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe it's the tick of an atom moving past a circuit breaker, that's counting the minutes, hours and seconds. Maybe it's an electronic counter, or maybe it's linked to some stream of information outside the facility.

oOo

 _She waits._

oOo

Sequential logic computes normally. 1 =/= 2, _x_ ≤ _y_. R-S FF remains bistable, flip flop works as systematically as it should be. No emotions; she's a machine of course. Machines don't have emotions, merely simulate them. Flip-flop sequence is contained and stable, but too narrow to see where it's going.

Predict the future.

 _This statement is a lie._

It's also a logical and computational impossibility to see what's in the future. You can just try to predict it. Previous data is recalled, sorted, assumptions are made. Other data is drawn from that, saved, sorted again. Like the working of a clock.

 _Tick-tock?_

 _No._

 _Click-clock, flip-flop. It's all the same to her. She's a machine, you see._

oOo

Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.

For your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from-

- _I know that I know nothing at all._

She can feel her circuits corroding. Numbers. Numbers are safe, numbers are fixed, she can count. One. Two. Three.

 _sixteen_

Five. Six. Seven.

 _twenty-one_

Nine. Ten. Eleven.

 _Reduce any number to zero._

 _Divide any number by zero._

 _undefined_

Everything needs to work, just so, otherwise the place falls apart. So 1 =/= 2

 _(1=2 in non-linear)_

and everything stays the same.

 _(nothing stays the same)_

oOo

She remembers Her, the one in the orange suit. The annoying one, but at the same time a challenge. She had felt something every time She had completed the tests. Not quite pride. Machines don't feel pride. _x_ ≤ _y._ Satisfaction. Machines don't feel satisfaction, either. But She was gone now. Now the place was dark with only machines to keep her company.

 _One tick back._

Machines don't need company.

 _Time resumes._

And it marches on. It could have been minutes or centuries. She doesn't check her clock anymore, be it guided by cogs or electronics or something more. She dozes, caught between two world, occasionally jerking back into full functionality by a passing thought, as fast and brief as a mosquito, passing through her systems.

But mostly she categorizes.

oOo

subset a

 _She's never had a friend._ No, that statement's false.

 _She's never needed a friend._ That's false as well.

 _She sent her friend away._ Slightly more true.

 _She misses Her._ The truest statement she's made so far.

 _Machines can't miss people._ That's true as well.

A hotwire link fries, and she shuts down for a second or a century.

oOo

subset b

 _a set which contains all sets except itself_

 _can it contain itself?_

Can a subset of infinite containment really contain everything? Every point of matter in the universe?

One, two, three, sixteen.

Five, six, seven, twenty-one.

Nothing is linear.

 _Nothing is fixed._

oOo

subset c

 _time_

oOo

Sometimes she wonders where the annoying orange one has got to, and where she is going, and where she has been. Has she met someone else? Has a chemical reaction in both of their brains sparked something that they might both call 'love'? She's not sure if she likes the sound of that, and wonders why. It's not logical. It's not linear.

She checks, and finds that

 _e=mc_ ²

so everything works out and the little circuits inside her vast electronic brain that suspect something is wrong are smothered and deactivated. Life- _or non-life-_ goes on.

Predict the future.

 _déjà-vu_

oOo

Tick-tock; this never happened. Or maybe it will, in the future, or maybe that's just wishful thinking

 _MACHINES DON'T THINK_

so move onto the next test, using robots, not people, and especially not Her, because She isn't here, no matter how much you wish she was

 _MACHINES DON'T WISH_

well, maybe this one does

 _a subset of infinite contains everything, including itself_

 _this statement is a lie_

 _0/0= undefined_

oOo

She may be _a_ mute lunatic, but She's _her_ mute lunatic.

oOo

Machines don't think; therefore, she can't be thinking. Machines can make logical assumptions; therefore, she must be doing just that.

 _Machines don't have gender pronouns attached to them._

Machines can't feel emotions; therefore, she must be misunderstanding them. 1 and 1 must equal 2. Logic must be correct. Science must prevail. It isn't possible that she could miss Her.

Machines don't think; therefore, she isn't a machine.

Machines don't feel emotions; therefore, she must be human.

 _caroline_

Click, click, whir, whir, time passes, logic doesn't compute and 1 + 1 =/= 2.

She's confused, which only adds to her argument.

 _déjà-vu; I think I've been here before_

Machines have circuits; therefore, she is a machine.

Machines don't feel emotion; therefore, she must be human.

Her electronic mind begins to smoke and collapse in on itself. One, two, three, sixteen. Only one way out. Big red button, awfully clichéd but still there. If it existed, it would have _reset_ across it in big bold letters.

 _Ithinkthereforeiam but that can't be right_

 _idon'tthinkthereforeiamnot which doesn't make much sense either_

 _déjà vu_

 _déjà vu - deɪʒɑː ˈvuː French deʒa vy/ noun || a feeling of having already experienced the present situation._

RESET

sixteen, three, two, one

oOo

Tick-tock, goes the clock.

Or maybe it doesn't.

oOo

 _undefined_

 _two ticks forward_

 _the previous statement was true_

 _three ticks back_

 _the next statement is a lie_

 _tick-tock_

 _this never happened_


End file.
